Thank you, Ms. Internet

I have been fortunate enough to have been dominated via email a couple of times. Once, I wrote some very dirty stories for an English woman (about whom I'll write more some other time). The other time, and all too briefly, I was abused by a Canadian woman I'll call "A." Here's a sample of her work:

For the time being you are "jaba," the only name that comes to mind expressive of just how fat you truly are. I've never seen anything like you nude -- it's really funny! To amuse Me further jaba will do this:

Take a front-on nude picture of your body, kneeling wearing a mask or bag over your face, lifting your belly so I can see whatever is visible of your little penis with a pink ribbon tied around it. Get a red lipstick and write "jaba" on each of your tits.

Take a rear nude picture of yourself, kneeling down with your face on the floor and your ass in the air, so that it fills most of the shot. but on EACH cheek attach a 2.5 inch square post-it note (for size-comparison), reading "fattest ass in Mass."

Take front and rear pictures, standing, wearing only whatever you wear for underwear and the mask or bag over your head.

A close-up of your penis (with the ribbon)

Answer these questions: how much do you weigh? Waist size? How small is your penis flaccid? If you're not impotent, erect? What's the girth? What medical consequences are there to your condition?

Write a detailed account of all your past sexual activity, including rejections, humiliations. (This should be long and sent separately -- let it be comprehensive.)

Finally: to demonstrate your lack of dignity, next time you have a bowel movement, get completely naked and do it on the floor of your kitchen. Then photograph it and send this to me in a SEPARATELY MARKED e-mail. Then pick it up (with your hands, fattie) and put it in the toilet and clean-up your floor.

God, she was mean, and I'm getting aroused right now just reading her email. See, that's always a problem: Most people worth submitting to have a natural (and commendable) aversion to being mean. Most mean people are just assholes, and don't excite me. "A" was mean, but sane and nice; she just enjoyed the feeling of power it gave her to have my consent to say anything she wanted, to treat me as she pleased.

Being dominated by email is a pretty mixed bag, in general. It can have moments of incredible intensity (seeing the new message in my Inbox, reading my instructions, heart pounding), but it can also get boring for me. Obviously I love humiliation, but I also love service -- folding laundry, cleaning floors, washing dishes -- and all of that sort of thing.

Also, for some reason I am always seeking out foreign women for email domination. There just seems to be something especially exciting about taking orders from overseas. This could be my own small attempt to apologize for current (and past) U.S. foreign policy, or it could be something much weirder.

I do miss "A" though, and hope that eventually I'll find a worthy, and equally mean, replacement.