Submission in everyday life

Some good friends of mine had a baby not long ago, and it turned their lives upside-down. The father couldn't take much time off work, and the mother was exhausted and overwhelmed. My job at the time allowed for quite a bit of flexibility, so at their request I would come over once a week at lunchtime, and spend the rest of the day there. I would take care of the baby, giving the mom a chance to do stuff like eat an entire meal uninterrupted and check email, and I would help with chores around the house. It really was amazing how disruptive an adorable seven-pound creature could be.

I did this for about a year, and I loved it. I loved (and love) the child, of course, and it was always fun to gab with the mom, but I also loved doing the chores: I would wash their dishes, and do laundry for them, and vacuum and tidy. It was all very innocent, and intensely satisfying. I would gladly be their maid still today, if we had that sort of relationship (honestly, I think the mom would be into that; she is clearly receptive to having things done for her, in a nice way. The husband has an unfortunate ethical concern with taking advantage of people).

It all made me feel like I was born in the wrong time and place, as I suppose many of us are. I should have been an Edwardian servant, perhaps, spending long days cleaning and polishing the house of some wealthy family. Actually, I would settle for being a housewife (or househusband) in a "traditional" 1950's family, which was more or less the equivalent of being a domestic servant.

I enjoy most of my raunchy Craigslist/alt.com/collarme.com hookups, but they have all lacked something. A huge part of my satisfaction at performing menial chores for my friends came from the fact of our friendship: Some of it was the heightened and gentle humiliation at carrying baskets of their dirty socks and underwear down to the basement for cleaning, but a bigger part was how it allowed me to express my love for them. Submission is almost always fun, but it doesn't even begin to reach its potential until it is part of a complex and satisfying relationship.